the waiter at olive garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now waiting for me to say when. customers are screaming. three people have died. I will not yield.
what if u needed glasses but u had no ears
but she has ears
but she’s prepared in case she loses them
when i was born i was given the choice between a big dick or a great memory
which did you choose
i don’t remember
just realized you don’t need to say 6am or 6pm. we already know the m is there so just write like 6a or 6p. can’t believe no one figured this trick out before.
or you could do the easy thing and say 0600 and 1800
yeah like adding a bunch of unnecessary zeroes is easy. you piece of shit. you fucking coward
Ellen should win an Oscar for being Ellen
"and the oscar for best ellen degeneres goes to…. ellen degeneres"
"And the oscar for best Leonardo Dicaprio goes to … Ellen Degeneres"
it’s not about your boobs ladies. it’s about what’s under your boobs. your lungs, because we are gonna be blazing a lot of kush and you need to keep up.